Huw Le Lytle answers all your questions in his column of wit and wisdom, For the Asking!

Huw’s for the asking!

BY Huw Le Lytle

In today’s questions …

Science, Style, Stress, and Seasons

Q: Dear Huw, can you explain Quantum Mechanics so I can understand it?
– Kathy, Fairmont, West Virginia, USA 

A: Dear Kathy, thank you for your challenging question. I view myself as more a philosopher than a physicist, but then again, there is the philosophy of physics, which includes interpretations of quantum mechanics. So it turns out I am right at home. I often find myself pondering the big questions: What is space? What is time? Where are my ribbies? But I think quantum mechanics is a bit like the Jefferson-Howard complex. Howard exhibits the property that he is never in a fixed position at any particular time … he is here, there, and everywhere. And it seems to me that he is in all those places at once. There is a constant wave of Howard all around the house, leaving most of us uncertain all the time. And so, in understanding the science of the very small (like our Jeff) and how it interacts with energy (like our Howard), I think quantum mechanics is basically explained by a frantic session of sofa zoomies, otherwise known as that which demonstrates that which cannot be demonstrated: faster than light, distance between sofas is no object, everyone everywhere and all at once. In fact, there are moments when I am somewhat concerned that the Howard Spring will become a Quantum Leap.

Q: Dear Huw, thank you for your answer (4 October 2016)! Will save me some time and sore arm muscles. Maybe add some color and paint lines from goop to goop? Does the same go for walls?
– Es, Knoxville, Tennessee, USA 

A: Dear Es, I am glad my answer was helpful in relation to your question (4 October 2016) concerning Otterhound goop. As for goop on the walls, I agree that this is a marvellous springboard for further artistic expression and design. Provided the goop on the walls doesn’t dry into potential hazards, such as any problematic protuberances that are likely to render someone an injury, or worse, ruin a lovely outfit, then I think wall goop will be an outstanding addition to any modern and stylish home.

Q: Dear Huw, what is your favourite place in the house to relax?
– Daniel, Warwickshire, UK

A: Dear Daniel, thank you for your thoughtful and very important question. It is essential to be able to relax. In many ways, when it comes to relaxation, I am a creature of circumstance. For me, relaxation is best enjoyed with others. So my favourite places are my sofa in the Wreck Room, or the sofa in the Lookout Library. Of course, the state of relaxation in these favourite places is often a precarious one, since at any moment I might be interrupted by a spontaneous silly hour of sofa zoomies, usually initiated by Howard and Jeff in particular. But that said, zoomies are actually themselves quite relaxing. Play is very important to reduce stress, especially in a modern fast-paced lifestyle, so I recommend it without reservation. Both humans and dogs play as adults, so I think play is actually one of the most important social skills we both have, and it is very relaxing and stress-reducing for both of us. Breathing techniques are also important in handling stress and, as we are all usually huffing and puffing after a rigorous round of zoomies, I would say that silly hour is very good for physical relaxation. Not to mention the fact that we are all usually exhausted after zoomies, so we will have also achieved important muscle relaxation. I also like to partake of the arts while I am relaxing. So I am usually to be found watching the romance channel as part of my relaxation techniques. But the most important thing of all is that whether I am napping, or watching movies, or enjoying silly hour, I am always relaxing with family.

Q: Dear Huw, I have two questions if that’s okay. What is your favourite season in the year? Which Disney character is most like you?
– Kayleigh, Warwickshire, UK 

A: Dear Kayleigh, thank you for your questions and of course it is fine to ask two questions. I have great respect for an enquiring mind. I think without doubt my favourite season is actually winter. There are lots of reasons for my fondness for frost, my longing for low temperatures, my affection for icicles. The summer is all well and good, but I quite simply cannot abide the heat. And the park becomes littered with half-naked humans, and I honestly don’t know which way to look. My embarrassment is at once profound and unnerving. And the other reason I love this time of year is that when the sky gets darker and the days get shorter, the world seems to get a bit less demanding. I feel under considerably less pressure to achieve a lot in a day, which suits me just fine as my favourite pastime is napping. But of course, the most important reason of all is that this is the season that Santa visits. Christmas is coming! And my wonderful pal, Finnegan Otterhound, always loved Christmas! He loved the tree, the sparkles, the movies, and just how happy everyone became. He used to say this was because he arrived here, in his brand new home, just a few days before Christmas. Human knew he was coming before he was born (Otterhounds are so rare that there is always lots of advance warning of their arrival!). No, he wasn’t a Christmas present (A dog is for life!), it was just his own personal timing. And so he was always known as the Hound who loved Christmas. And as for Disney, well, that time of year also makes me think of when we all watched Frozen during Finnegan’s last Christmas, and Sven and Olaf reminded everyone of Finnegan and me. And then this past Christmas, when everyone went to see Star Wars (which of course is now Disney), Human and Grand Human cried at BB-8’s sadness when missing Poe because he reminded everyone of me when I was missing Finnegan. But I think if I am to choose one Disney character over all others, then I think it would be Jiminy Cricket. Jiminy Cricket is pint-sized, witty and wise, a teller of stories, a wonderful mentor, and of course, he is in Mickey’s Christmas Carol to teach Scrooge about kindness. So I think if I were a Disney character, I would be Jiminy Cricket.

If you would like your questions answered by Huw, please send them to woof@bethatdog.com or use the form below. He’s Huw for the asking!