I’m Amber, and my special subject is the vacuum cleaner.
In my last updates I have explained how vacuum cleaners are completely untrustworthy, unnecessarily loud, bad for your health, and possibly also zombies. And don’t get me started on the vacuum cleaners that wake up by themselves and start vacuuming without even a human in charge. Giving vacuum cleaners that kind of personal freedom is just asking for trouble.
I have survived a dog attack, a house fire, and now homelessness. But even after all that, vacuum cleaners are still my biggest worry. I am probably safe in the UK, because apparently half a million Brits never vacuum. But just to be on the safe side, I have compiled a list of humans who are anti-vacuum cleaner who might like to adopt me. So far my list includes: the Queen and Phyllis Diller (because she never turned it on).
James Dyson need not apply.
And this guy definitely need not apply.
If you would like to join me in the revolution against vacuuming, then please contact Friends of the Animals Wales to adopt me!