Delivering the Goods

Delivering the Goods

By Aubrey Beardsley

3 June 2017

It’s Saturday. So we have been looking after ourselves. Which isn’t always as fun as it sounds. But happiness is in the long run, right? Especially for me, I like very long runs.

So, today I got brushed. It is not my favourite thing at all, but it is good for me, and it is important to look after yourself. Or to get Human to look after me anyway. Jeff loves it when I get brushed, because he likes to chase the brush. It makes for a rather inefficient exercise, but since when is efficiency the measure of all goodness?

Huw is especially particular about his weather. He doesn’t do rain, and he doesn’t do heat either. For Huw, everything has to be just right. Today had both heat and rain, so you might imagine that Huw was most disgruntled. But in fact, we had fish skins, so everything was

Jeff looked after himself today by carrying around one his favourite toys, a ball that looks like a very round penguin. The squeaker has gone and all it does is shoot out air as he chews it. But he still loves it. And he’s been carrying it everywhere all day.

Howard and I wanted to sunbake, but Human said it was not a healthy thing to do, especially with Howard’s pink underbelly and his tendency to lie in the most inelegant of poses as he enjoys life. So we stayed out of the heat during the day. And played in the rain tonight instead.

But Deputy got us a new cooling thing today. It is a fancy looking thing that looks a bit like a giant tug toy. Or maybe a giant dental chew. Or maybe a piece of surveillance equipment. But I am assured it is not. But isn’t that what you would expect someone installing surveillance equipment to say? Anyway, we have been basking in its cool glory. When Charles Schulz said happiness is a warm puppy, I don’t think he was talking about summer.

[Just as I was finishing my diary entry, some terrible news started to unfold in our town, not too far from where we live. Our thoughts were immediately with our friends who live and work nearby, and all the people caught up in these dreadful atrocities.]

4 June 2017

Today we woke saddened by the events in London last night. But London is resilient and we wanted to go out and show our love for London town. So we made our trip to the park, and on the way a lovely lady wanted to say hello to all of us, each in turn. I got so pleased I contemplated Aubretising her, which she seemed to be quite enthusiastic about, but Human said we had only just met, and then everyone laughed and we bid each other a good day.

At the park we made some brand new friends including Hugo and Rollo, and the lovely Alfie the Field Spaniel, who Howard is quite certain is the most amazing new pal ever. Until the next new pal.

As we were leaving, little Huw wandered off and then realised he couldn’t see us. We all turned around to call him at the top of the hill. And he just stood there, looking so worried. Seeing his little face when he didn’t know where we were made Human so sad. But then he saw us, and galloped at full flight up the hill to the gate. And then we saw the face of joy.


5 June 2017

Today Jeff went to see Dr Fabulous for his yearly appointment and weigh-in. Jeff loves going because, like everyone, he loves Dr Fabulous. He was so excited when he arrived that he tried to go in the shop next door thinking he had already arrived. But as it was a bathroom shop, and Jeff hates baths, he quickly realised his error. Jeff says that Dr Fabulous is on board with expanding our brood to five, doesn’t think it’s ridiculous at all!

On the way back, an older gentleman wanted to say hello to Jeff and kept asking him for a kiss. Jeff enjoyed a big cuddle and the man said thank you so much for stopping for a chat. Jeff was happy that he had made that man so happy. And then a bit further on a restaurant worker was sitting outside the restaurant, having a break, and he saw Jeff’s smile and smiled. And Jeff bounced up to say hello and the man smiled some more and laughed at Jeff’s funny smile. If there is one thing Jeff excels at (apart from eating treats) it’s bringing joy.

When Jeff got back hoe he greeted each and every one of us in turn, and then he went back and greeted Human and Deputy as well, even though they had been with him at the vet. Jeff says it is important to make sure everyone is there and everyone gets a cuddle. Jeff is all about looking after his friends and family. Jeff is all about fairness as well. Especially in the distribution of treats.

Later in the afternoon we went to the park. I love this cloudy, cooler weather because I get my park back! There were absolutely no sunbathers lying in the rain. Not even one! In fact, there was almost no-one in the park at all. We were the only dogs. And the only people were the last of the fun fair packing up and an exercise class. The exercise class looked amazing because everyone was on our field, lying on their backs, wiggling their legs in the air. Can you imagine!? Obviously they wanted to be Aubretised. But when I ran over Human called me and I came back, but not before I had used several of the people as cavalletti for an impressive agility display. I left without touching anyone, let alone Aubretising them, and they were all laughing and smiling. I think exercise should be accompanied by laughter. Because exercise is supposed to make you happy.

And being the only dogs in the park, we played as one big happy family. And we had the loveliest time. We looked after our friendships, and we worked off our cheese doing it too. Plus we did some woderful zoomies, which we are very good at. So today was a great day for delivering the goods!


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