What does Britain’s favourite TV-viewing Parson Russell Terrier think of The Yorkshire Vet, Planet Earth, How the Universe Works, Gardeners’ World, and the Argos commercial?
Howard Spring review his week in TV!
The Yorkshire Vet
I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve watched The Yorkshire Vet. It is amazing. As well as dogs and cats it has all sorts of other animals. Including cows. And I really love cows.
In this episode there was a Terrapin called Romulus whose toe had been bitten off by another Terrapin called Spartacus. And in case you are wondering, yes there was a Remus as well, but Romulus and Remus had already been separated because of all the arguments. And before Romulus could finish Remus for jumping over a wall.
I’m told (by Huw, of course, who knows everything) that Spartacus was around much later than Romulus. And he was also born in what is now Bulgaria. So he is like everyone’s Great Great Great many-greats Uncle Bulgaria.
So Great Uncle Bulgaria bit the toe of the first king of Rome. And Dr Julian had to remove the stub of bone that Spartacus had left jutting out. That’s the end of summer sandal season for Romulus.
In another story, Dr Peter went to visit Farmer Arthur and Farmer Sandra who wanted to know whether 12 of their cows were in calf. I don’t think I should go into the details of what’s involved in that process.
The cows had to stand in a very small yard, so small they couldn’t move. Apparently it’s called a crush (not a very flattering name).
After Dr Peter had finished with each cow he would open the gate and they would be on their way. But when one cow cantered off happy that it was all over, I tried to grab her in case they wanted her back. I am what you call an active viewer. I get very involved with my programmes.
Anyway, it was all good news because only one cow wasn’t pregnant, and so Farmer Arthur was very happy indeed.
This show had a lot of different animals which I found absolutely fascinating. And it also had lots of sheds. And we like sheds. So I think I am going to watch it again.
This week I watched Planet Earth, which is a programme about nature. And it is narrated by a very famous man called Sir David Attenborough.
Sir David had a very nice voice but it was saying terrible things. I didn’t watch for long, but within a few seconds two birds started fighting and they just kept fighting and fighting. And then they agreed that one had lost. And Sir David said the loser might not survive! Then a pine marten killed a squirrel. It was absolute carnage. So I switched over and had some cheese.
How the Universe Works
This week I watched a programme called How the Universe Works. Space has been in some of the hot topics sent for us to think about in Write on Cue, so I decided to do some research and watch this show.
This episode was called “Stars That Kill”. You may think this week’s TV is all very violent, but this was mostly about stars changing colour, so it was ok.
Apparently some stars are called vampires and they turn other stars into zombies. Everything is about vampires and zombies these days. I started to wonder if I was watching a documentary or the latest trendy YA (young adult) television drama. But I wasn’t, because the costumes weren’t very good. Everyone was wearing regular clothes.
And as for the stars, they were red and blue. Red stars are the older ones and blue stars are the new ones. The astrophysicist said blue stars are like the ones who’ve had plastic surgery. So I guess that means that look shiny and swollen, because I have also seen those Real Housewives programmes (which are all about the overuse of plastic surgery gone wrong, I think).
But they found some blue stars inside the clusters of red stars, and realised some of the red stars were reversing time! And they did this by stealing gas from the older stars (the zombies). But eventually they kill the older stars and they explode and everybody dies. This really does sound like the latest Netflix boxset.
Fortunately, I think any self-respecting star would have thought twice before trying to steal my gas when I first arrived. It was so bad I used to shock myself, and sometimes leave the sofa to escape myself. Thankfully, for all concerned, it has improved enormously. Although I am now worried I might be vulnerable during starlight.
This show had lots of sparkly effects, but no dogs, not even dog stars.
I like shows about gardens, especially the ones that have dogs as well. So this week I watched Gardeners’ World. This was a great episode because it was all about lawns. I love lawns because they are great for zoomies.
They were talking about how to make a luscious lawn. From what I understood this is a lawn without weeds or moss. They were also very concerned that the borders were crumbling. I am not sure I would care. From what I could see the lawn looked amazing and I was ready to jump in and have zoomies!
I liked this show because I like looking at gardens.
The Argos commercial
While I was watching television I saw, for the first time, the new Argos commercial. For those who don’t know, especially our friends in other parts of the world, Argos is a shop where you can’t look at or touch the goods until you buy them. So it’s a bit like the internet with a door.
Anyway, this commercial stars some cats. And every time I see them I fly off the sofa and see if they want me to sit on them. Because everyone knows, especially Kitty Pryde, I cuddle my cats by sitting on them. I have flown off the sofa for a closer look at least three times this evening alone.
This is a great commercial, I think it might even be better than the one with the Border Collie and the vacuum cleaner.