I am a small dog with a big message.

I am a Chihuahua and we have become rather fashionable for our convenient size and celebrity connections.

Unfortunately, love should not follow fashion. An accessory, while possibly doing wonders for an outfit, and maybe even making you feel very good about yourself at the same time, cannot love you back. No matter how much you love those shoes, they really have no active interest in your wellbeing.

Dogs, on the other hand, love you back. Even science now knows that we love you back. So if you try and treat us like a pair of shoes, it is not going to go very well at all.

I may be small, but I would like to use my legs. I don’t want to be shoved in a handbag and forgotten along with your keys, while I struggle to balance in there and can’t even see where we are going.

Believe it or not, unlike a Teddy Ruxpin or a MacBook Air, we are not just portable toys. We would actually like to meet other dogs, swap stories, get dirty, and feel the wind in our hair.

Unfortunately, my first human didn’t get the memo. And mistakenly thought I was something from a Build-A-Bear workshop. So I have been left with a few frustrations. Just because some of us dogs are small, doesn’t mean that our needs are smaller, that our problems are smaller, and that none of it matters because we can be shoved in a handbag prison whenever things get inconvenient.

So I am waging a personal war on handbags. And if you can’t stand the heat, get the dog out of the handbag!

If you hate handbags as much as I do, if you love a little dog with an enormous wish list, if you can recognise me for the big little dog that I am, then please contact Friends of the Animals Wales to adopt me. Only excellent humans need apply. Because I am an excellent dog. And I can’t wait to show you.