That’s Jeffervescent! – by Jefferson Airplane

This is my squeaky pig.

It was in fact once Finnegan Otterhound’s squeaky pig, and it was one of his favourite toys. I love it. And I love that Finnegan loved it.

My pig is more of a floating head than a whole pig. But when I had a squeaking whole pig I decapitated it. So maybe it’s just as well that this one has been done already.

Pigs are very good at smelling things, which I respect. That’s why they are so good at finding truffles. Pigs are also very clever. So clever that Sir Winston Churchill described them as treating humans as equals. Pigs have a lot of interests, including listening to music, playing with beach balls, and staying sun-safe by covering themselves in mud. And they say pigs can learn tricks faster than dogs can. Well, so what! Maybe we are just taking our time, enjoying the learning process!

But it’s what the pigs have to say that interests me. Apart from the squeals of course, pigs also use grunts to talk to each other and they may even bark! That’s because pigs have a very rich social life. And that is also why we are not allowed to eat pigs’ ears … that, and the fact that they are incredibly high in calories and fat. And I don’t want a permanent belly-ache.

A pig that squeals, and barks, and grunts, and squeaks? That’s Jeffervescent!